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Did you have a happy childhood?

  • Best Answer
    Interesting question. What I have realized is that I experienced some horrific trauma. At the time, I dealt with it as best I could- usually by compartmentalizing and just shutting down so as not to feel anything. I stayed away from home as much as possible to escape. So I did have lots of fun with friends. It was coming back to my family that was hard. And I always felt all knotted up inside. I really didn't know what to do with all those feelings. But honestly, I didn't know my situation wasn't the norm. Children don't have the where-with-all to say, "Wow, Mom and Dad are really screwed up." They just internalize it and survive.
    My first college roommate was shocked when I told her about my dad's rage. "My Dad never yells at me," she said. I thought THAt was strange! It had never occurred to me that some people didn't live with all that anger in the home.
    It wasn't until my mid 30's that all those stuffed feelings erupted. I had a meltdown. When I got help it was really surreal for me to see other people actually crying and getting upset when I shared my childhood. It seems so odd to write this, but it's true. I learned how messed up my childhood had been when others told me that life wasn't supposed to be that way. The real breakthrough came for me when I began to view things through the eyes of my youngest son. He is most like me in temperament. One day I was thinking about something very awful that had happened to me when I was his age, and I started to think how he would feel and what he would need if it happened to him. Then I thought about how I was treated and realized: wow, if I did that to my boy, it would destroy him. He would be so terrified and insecure.
    The lights came on.
    That's a long answer! Sorry. Basically, when I was a child I didn't know any better so I thought my life was ok and the uncomfortable feelings and fears were my fault some how. I thought I was supposed to be happy and tried to be. But the answer is no...I did not have a happy childhood. Hellish.
    Anne Teak · 2 0
  • Other Answer
  • Yes. I got along well with the other wolf pups. Sure, we fought at times, but it was just good natured joustlng for dominance. Mom and dad were always coming into the den with a freshly killed rabbit or marmot. We were like most normal families. Both parents worked. It was dog eat dog in the workplace. Sure, we had our oddballs. Uncle fang liked to be the only alpha male with lingerie from Victoria's Secrets. I still wolf down my meals, but all that matters is that now, I know I canine do it, no matter what it takes. You just have to suck life down to the marrow. Kudos to you Einstein. This question was pure genius. It generated some great answers. Mine was silly, but the others were a glimpse into the soul. I have no soul, so you can't glimpse mine.
    gyorzxk · 1 0
  • Brilliant ! So now that puts me in yet another minority group ?

    Maybe people often expect too much of their parents. Or they're just whingers who won't take responsibility for their own lives. ie if you can't solve your problems (or won't try) then the next best thing is a good scapegoat, and what better scapegoat than "an unhappy childhood" ?
    Lilliana · 0 0
  • I had the privilege of growing up in a christian home in the Caribbean near the sea. How wonderful to fill close to God early in the morning listening to the birds sing and the sound of the wave beating on the shore. There is something special that connects you with God.
    itzvigirl · 1 0
  • Kinda - I was raised by a neurotic, a drunk, and a closet fascist. Naturally enough, I grew up laid back, relatively teetotal and liberal enough to deserve a slapping. That seems to have done pretty well in making me happy as a kid and happy as a grown-up.
    mdfalco71 · 2 0

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