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Boyfriend refuses to marry me? What am I doing wrong me?

I apologize about the long post, I just want an outsider's opinion.

My boyfriend and I will be together 6 years here soon. We have a child, a house, a few loans together, and get along well. I ask him about getting married, and its always no. I've asked him if he feels it's too soon, if he doesnt believe in marriage, or if he wants to wait until I'm done with Medical School, and the answer was no to all. He proposed to a girl after 6 months of dating, and I asked him too if he wasnt ready because that hurt him, and he said no again as he stated he wanted to marry someone someday. Unfortunately he did cheat on me 3 years ago and told her he would marry her tomorrow if thats what it took, but came back to me. Not long ago I got upset because most of my friends are talking about getting married, are married, or are getting married, and I asked him if it was something to do with me, and he stated he just didnt want to marry me. It killed me as I asked him what I am doing wrong, and again he stated nothing as he claims I'm still good looking, he will be able to stay home when i become a doctor, and we get along very well. I asked him then why does he want to marry someone, but not me....which he had no answer to. He is an amazing guy, but it kills me because I want to get married, and by no means am I in a hurry as I'm willing to wait 10 years if that's what it takes, but I'm very confused. Has anyone else been in a situation like this and figured out what was wrong?
  • Answers
  • My mama always said "Why buy the cow when the milk is free?"
    Ida · 1 5
  • You need to leave right away. He does not love you. He literally said he can stay home when you become a doctor?? He just wants to mooch off of you. Do NOT waste your time with someone who cannot even compare to the level that you're on. Think about it this way, what does he give to your relationship that another man can't? He's already cheated on you, he most likely doesn't want to marry you because he's going to do it again, especially since he has told other women that he would marry them. I sincerely hope you leave him, I hate seeing good women with men that don't deserve them.
    Michelle · 6 1
  • MAYBE HE ISN'T THE MARRYING KIND
    Warren T · 14 0
  • You’re doing nothing wrong!

    Instead of asking closed ended “yes” or “no” questions, can you ask him more open ended questions Eg “Why don’t you want to marry me” “Why did you want to marry the other girl”?

    Just from speculation alone, it might because you’re already living together and have a family so he sees no need to get married. Perhaps it’s because he doesn’t care at all about the formalities now. Maybe he feels like you’re accessible and will always be there so he feels safe and there is no need to work hard for this relationship as you’ve tolerated him in the past.

    I would express to him how much marriage means to you, even if it’s a casual/inexpensive wedding. If he’s not willing to compromise when he is not opposed to the idea of getting married in the first place, I would question how self centred he is, his feelings towards you and break up with him. Stay true to your ideals and desires.
    Caitlyn W · 3 13
  • If you truly love him, you respect what he does.
    Nick · 5 3