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  • What should I do about my daughter?

    My daughter is 19 years old. She’s a freshman in community college, which I pay for. I pay her car insurance ($2,000/yr), car repairs (thousands of dollars over two years), and she lives here rent free. I also buy all her food and toiletries. She’s in school about 9 hours a week over three days. I don’t think she has much homework. She has a job where she works 2-3 days a week for about 10-12 hours on average for the week. She only pays for her gas and for clothes. Should I continue doing this? She always says she’s so busy but she spends more time with her boyfriend than she does at school or work and sometimes getting her to do chores around the house becomes a chore for me.
    90 answers
  • My parents are away on holiday, do you think my older sister is being cruel and mean for not getting me out of a school punishment ?

    my parents are on holiday and my older sister is in charge she is 23, she is a secondary teacher ( NOT AT MY SCHOOL ) on Monday I had an after school detention for bad behavouir it lasts for 1 hour 45 minutes, my friends were going bowling so I skipped it ( DETENTION IS FOR LOSERS ) the problem is it states that any student missing a detention will go straight into a FULL Saturday detention. today the headmaster gave me my timetable for Saturday detention it is HORRIBLE. 845am registration and FULL school uniform inspection, 9am-- 12 am punishment essays 12 am-- 1pm lunch we have to bring in a packed lunch, we can go into the playground if we want, 1pm-- 3pm copy out punishment essays 3pm--315pm break, 315--5pm write an essay on what we have learned from Saturday detention, 5pm --515pm tidy classroom hand in punishment essays, go home. it states quite clearly that the only way a student can get Saturday detention postphoned is in an emergency and guardian signs a letter saying they have a wedding or doctors etc. tomorrow is my friends 16th party and I am invited it is at a TOP theme park, MY QUESTION, I asked my sister to lie and sign the letter so I could get out of punishment, she said NO WAY I have broken the rules and MUST be punished, I think she is mean and cruel what do you think ?
    11 answers
  • How to get my dad to approve of my older boyfriend?

    My mom knows and is ok with it, my dad doesn't know that she knows, if he did, things would be really bad. I'm 17 and bf is 23. He wants to get my dads permisson but My dad is threatening to put him in jail. He assumes my bf is on drugs and not in school which is completely wrong. He doesn't do drugs and he is in college. My mom likes him but has to play along like she doesn't infront of my dad. My dad wont even take the chance to talk to him, he says it doesn't matter, hes a "sick disgusting man for wanting anything to do with a 17 year old". It's not like I'm 14. I won't be 18 until 7 months so I just want him to accept him but need help on how to go about it. Any suggestions?
    15 answers
  • Should I tell my dad about my moms drinking problem ?

    After the passing of my grandmother, my moms drinking had gotton out of control. She has depression and anxiety. She goes to a doctor every six months for her refills for something for depression and xanax. I haven't been home lately at night and didn't know that she had a problem. This past 2 weeks; she's been a mess. I find her Xanax on the floor, I have to help her to bed, get her water, and basically babysit her. I took her xanax away one night. She takes her recommended dose for the day at night (she doesn't take her xanax during the day). Drinking wise, she drinks 5 beers I think. 3 mg of xanax and 5 beers is not okay!! Last night, I had to carry my mother down the stairs (on my butt, with her sitting on top of me) because she was banging into everything. And she was just laughing like it was fun. I told my dad about the xanax being on the ground and that I think she might be taking them in her sleep and my dad told my mom that I said that. And she took it all offensively, like why would I do that. I'm scared one morning, I'm going to wake up and she's going to accidently overdose. My parents sleep in separate beds and I don't want to create conflict. My dad works early in the morning so he is sleeping when she gets like this. I'm 18 years old and in college right now. I don't want to be kicked out over this because my mom is going to be angry for "telling on her". How do I explain this to my dad?
    17 answers
  • How far can parents take the 'my house, my rules' argument?

    For circumstances that affect the parents, it makes sense and I agree with it, e.g. Having people over. But, can they really apply this argument to things that have no effect on them whatsoever, e.g. How much time I spend doing a certain activity?
    45 answers
  • Is it selfish to move out of state?

    Best answer: Not really your parents made their decisions about their lives........but, remember to finish high school and hopeful some college etc............than start planning for your future........start a savings, make a good budget up and stick to it, find a place you can actually afford........do lots of research.....set up RESUMES that will obtain that wonderful job and nice enough life style or traveling you hope to accomplish.......it takes excellent work ethics, priorities............best of wishes to your future plans..........this is the word PLANNING.
    15 answers
  • Does this show that I'm too selfish?

    Best answer: That is the total opposite of selfish, good job! Selfish is staying at home, eating free, living free, not giving your parents their deserved peace, and making them feel like they didn't raise you right because you can't fly on your own. Explore the world, start your life, it's expected.
    8 answers
  • Is it normal for 4th graders to have a lot of drama socially?

    I have a 9 year old daughter and she tells me complicated stories about friendships. There seems to be a lot of crying, fighting and making up, passing notes, and other drama. As a parent, I didn't expect this until her tween and teen years starting in 6th and 7th grades. Her older cousins and siblings didn't go through that at her age so I haven't experienced this. For myself, as a child there wasn't that much conflict at this age. Times have changed, and I've read about dealing with issues like this. They're usually about older girls with friendship problems like these though. She knows that I am always here to listen and advice is offered. I choose not to get involved but make sure that it does not escalate to bullying and harassment.
    8 answers
  • If my dad s cousin married a person of African descent, would that make me part African?

    10 answers
  • Mom doesn't know what to do with my bum sister?

    Ok so.... my sister is 21 years old and still living with my parents. (I was out at 19). It wouldn't be such a big deal if she wasnt a COMPLETE bum. She doesn't always shower, her teeth are rotting out, she can't make friends and doesn't want to, she will probably never get a man or have children and probably never will get a job. She doesn't try for ANYTHING. She sits in her room all day and night long playing computer games and drawing, wakes up at like 3pm snd goes to bed at like 2am. My mom doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to be so harsh she kicks her out with nowhere to go but god bless my sister, she is too dumb to do anything. Literally. She has never passed a job interview because she has zero idea how to talk to people or what most words mean. Shes rude as hell to my mom and all she does is literally veg out and rot in her room, barely even eating or washing. And she is really reallyyyy rude to most people. We know she needs like a friend or something to move in with or to help her find more.friends and gain social experience but it's impossible. She will NOT try and my mom is afraid she's going to find her dead in her room one day. Is there a place someone like my sister can go? Somewhere she can stay and get help for stuff like this???? We just have no answers and don't know what to do anymore...
    10 answers
  • Husband of 15 years has become emotionally abusive to our four boys over the past five years. How do I get him to change?

    He takes care of the household financially and provides for all of our needs but he's turned emotionally abusive to the kids. He slams doors breaks glasses has broken our microwave he's tipped the refrigerator over he shredded up the sofa and loveseat and has misplaced our family dog. It's like no matter how good the boys do he always comes behind them and find something to complain about. The sad thing is it doesn't stop with a complaint it always escalates from him complaining about something to him picking on them personally. For example oh well you can't be that smart cuz you don't even know how to clean the effing room. Or wow your mother needs to have your vision checked because you clearly didn't see the s*** on the dishes when you claim to wash them... this is not only emotionally heartbreaking but it's embarrassing because we live in a condo in Neighbors on the whole floor constantly hear him yelling and screaming. I guess the problem that I'm having is I finally realize this as him being emotionally verbally abusive. Our house is like a war zone with him yelling all the time and the scary thing is I see evidence in my eleven-year-old of him being abusive just like his father. Every time after his father emotionally abuses him it's like my 11 year old turns his anger on his little brothers. To be honest I don't have the financial resources to go on my own and support four kids. I just don't know what to. I am a 35 year old on disability.
    9 answers
  • Why won t my parents allow me to have my computer in my bedroom?

    9 answers
  • Should I hate my father for lying to me?

    My dumbass dad told me that he has Asian on his side of the family. I don't believe him. This is me btw.
    16 answers
  • Will the police investigate someone who is impersonating my deceased child online?

    My 12 year old girl passed away in 2015 after she killed herself due to physical and sexual abuse. A few parents contacted me and they were pretty angry about this person. I find it very disrespectful. This person is trying to be a 15 year old version of her as she would've been at that age today. They are contacting my daughter's old friends and people she knew - claiming that she somehow came back. They started harassing and using threats against individuals to don't believe them. This may just be an Internet troll who stalked my daughter's social media accounts that were not shut down and found out information from the news. Whoever this impersonator is, they claim that I don't "love her" anymore because I don't believe that it is truly her. This is a safety concern as we don't know who it is.
    6 answers
  • Fathers: what would you do or think about this? My 47 yr old friend is creeping on my naive 23 yr old daughter?

    My daughter is very naive and introverted, she doesn't go out much and stays home all the time unless her friend comes around. My daughter and her friend are not your typical party girls of that age. When my daughter doesnt have her friend over, he takes on her friends role. He would go into her room and "play" around. He would take selfies with her and look through her closet and outfits. I watched my daughters behavior towards him When he is around her, she seems cold and inattentive and i just wonder why she doesnt tell me anything? My last straw was when My daughter's friend was sleeping over and they were doing eachothers makeup, hair and doing their thing and I find my friend in the room sitting on my daughters bed just watching them. I didnt know what to say so i asked him if he wanted a beer, so i got him out of there. When I asked my daughter why she didn't say anything she said "dad i didnt want to be rude, he is your friend." When I got mad and pressed her to tell me whats going on. She began to cry and said "dad he creeps us out". She then told me about an incident where they were trying on different outfits and he walked in on them changing. She said they screamed and he left but commented that they looked cute. Am I right to be livid at this and find it inappropriate even though they are 23? How would you feel if these were your daughters? What would you do in my situation? I don't want to lose a good friend if I am over reacting.
    9 answers
  • My parents want a child?

    Best answer: It's extremely unlikely that your mother will be able to conceive at her age. Focus on your own family, if I were you, and stop worrying about something that almost certainly won't happen.
    12 answers
  • Did I do the right thing about my daughter smoking marijuana?

    Best answer: Hard to say without more context. I think that smoking marijuana is no worse than drinking alcohol (in fact it might even be less harmful but we don't really know because there isn't enough research being done). I also think that people should wait until they are at least 18 (for both). Trying it once or twice is not a big deal but doing it frequently when you are underage is an unacceptable risk in my opinion.

    I would use this as an opportunity to discuss the issues with your daughter instead of just punishing her and ignoring it from there. I think some kind of small punishment is in order (it's your choice if you think that grounding is appropriate) but the discussion is more important.

    P.S. - That's my adult opinion but I both drank alcohol and smoked pot when I was that age so I have to have at least some sympathy for her position.
    11 answers
  • Is what my mother does, wrong?

    Best answer: A husband and wife are LEGALLY equal partners. Money that is earned by either of them is the JOINT responsibility of BOTH PARTNERS. If your HOUSEHOLD and RETIREMENT NEEDS are being met and there is some extra money lying around...then providing some money to others is OK.

    If your financial picture is NOT GOOD...then your mother is GOOD to POINT OUT THAT MONEY GOING TO THE RELATIVES is NOT acceptable.

    Clearly you need to sit down with BOTH your mother and father and have a NON CONFRONTATIONAL discussion about the family finances.
    8 answers
  • Would you sabotage your child's dream in order for him or her to get a normal regular job?

    Best answer: as long as they don't want to do something that is looked at as demeening such as being a hooker/porn star or something that will land them in prison like a drug dealer then no. i grew up with a strict dad who was also controlling. he hated the idea of me becoming a chef. throughout my entire college experience he gave me shet for wanting to be one and kept telling me to do something i didn't find myself wanting to do like working in the medical field as a doctor or EMT or a cop. graduate college regardless still do what i enjoy doing.

    i know what it's like to be on the receiving end so no i wouldn't do that to my children i would instead try to help them to succeed in there goals. of course if they are having a hard time and getting older i'll talk to them about getting another job to make a steady income while they work on what they love to do until they eventually make it.

    idc for a normal life style. i don't want to be like everyone else. having the same fking iphone, the same car, whatever. the only normal thing about me is i have a typical white boys name.
    11 answers
  • Strict parents won't let me go out?

    Hi, My parents are super strict, Im not allowed to have sex until Im married (which I don't want, I feel like thats my decision) Im 16 years old, and I have never been to a party before. Here in London, the kids start going to parties when they're 13 or something, ever since then Ive been turning down every single invitation. Im not even allowed to go to the local park with my close friends because my parents say I should be focusing on my studies. I feel like they're restricting me too much and it only makes me want to rebel. Theres a halloween party coming up and I really want to go: Im tired of disappointing my friends. Please Help.
    8 answers